Uncle Sam wants you...to eat Nathan's hot dogs! Yep, I went to the hot dog eating contest, where last year's winners triumphed again, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas and Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, but no records were broken. In the ladies' round, one contestant had a tragic attack of hiccups, and one of the male contenders, I think it was Notorious B.O.B., "got disqualified in the most unwatchable way possible". The men had great personas. My fave: Eater X, who woke one morning on a beach in Tangiers with no memory, but obvious training in speed-eating. Now he travels the world, eating, and hoping to solve the mystery of who he is. (For those of you who follow the sport, for the second year in a row, Takeru Kobayashi did not compete because of a contract dispute with the--yep--governing body, Major League Eating.)

But the highlight for me was the emcee, Barney. He had the Old Testament quality I used to like about wrestling, everything was of epic proportion. "God spoke directly to Isaiah," was one, "but he's speaking to Joey Chestnut through hot dogs!" "Her stomach is a cauldron, her jaw is a vice and her teeth are daggers!" "She's attacking those dogs like a starving hyena on the Serengheti!"

I was also testing Equate brand SPF 30 spray-on sunscreen which seems to do the job--I have no Birkenstock lines.

To top it all off, I can see the Macy's fireworks from my window. Happy 4th everybody!