Got a pat on the head yesterday from David Boaz, executive V.P. of the Cato Institute, regarding the play!

From the sublime to the ridiculous, I saw an old episode of "Married With Children" where Al's shoe groupie was played by Jessica Hahn. Why am I accursed to have brain cells devoted to recognizing and remembering Jessica Hahn? I'm sure they could be put to better use!

I'm reading a book about 20th Century Greek history, and hoo, boy, I don't know anything about it. So far--greatest first name ever (as my friend John Miras would say), Neocosmos, greatest turn of events for a dictator ever, Metaxas died in 1941 (as Greece was vacillating from joining the war with the Allies, with Germany, or remaining neutral) of tonsillitis!

Just returned from the feel-good hit of the holiday season, "Precious", or as I said at the box office, "One for 'Precious: From the Novel Push by Sapphire'." Seriously, Tom Clancy nor Stephen King went quite that far. How about, "Precious: The Movie Oprah Wants You to See", or "Precious: The One Where Mariah Isn't Horrible and Has Brown Hair"?

A Christmas miracle on the way home--I came across a lighting shop, and sure enough, they had the bulb I needed to get the Branson Chicken Lamp back into service!

Exhausted and happy at the end of the premiere run of God Bless You, Mister Scrooge! At the end of the day, I'm nothing but proud of the show and proud of myself (pardon the boasting) for whatever it was that made me decide one day that if I believed in the project and had the means to do it myself, I'd better put my money and effort where my mouth was. I also realized at one point that putting the show together shared something with hiring people at City Paper--I was the prime mover, but the cast and crew forms an entity that then has a life and future of its own I have little part in. That's cool. I hope I'll see the cast members in other roles.

A few nights ago, I had an experience that made me feel like I'm now part of the New York theater community--a woman I worked with on the Pirate Show showcase came to Scrooge, she was a friend of my Missus Cratchit. Sa-mall world!

And one of the most memorable moments was Saturday night--someone I don't know said, "Ten dollars isn't enough for this show," and handed me another $10 on his way out of the theater! It helped me believe that although crowds were a little disappointing, there was enough of an impact that the play can have a future. It only takes one person . . .

Back in my every day New York life, I found an empty prescription box on the subway yesterday. Good luck with the vaginal gel, Caroline Hollander!

Still crushing on the David Ogilvy book. How's this--for a Cessna campaign, he sent carrier pigeons with response coupons tied to their legs to prospects. "Several of them ate the birds," he said, but several were set free with the response and they sold at least one $600,000 plane.

Speaking of advertising, I'm developing a pretty strong aversion to Brooke Shields. You'll remember my exasperation that she, one of the renowned beauties of our age, feels like she needs prescription medicine to be even more beautiful. Now I'm bugged by her toothpaste endorsement. It starts with Brooke saying, "I like to eat healthy," and we see her chomping on a big stalk of celery, but then comes the complication, she also likes slices of lemons and limes, and they threaten the enamel of her teeth. I'd identify with her more if she were eating real effin' food, but probably still, not all that much. You're too good for us, Brooke Shields, we can't relate to your life up in the clouds.

There's another TV ad running that I'm sure isn't returning any portion of its budget in sales. One version of the ad is a guy offering two little girls ponies. One gets a plastic toy and the other gets a real pony. In another one, a little girl gets a bike, but she's not allowed to ride it outside a square painted on the floor. After seeing these a few times, I realized I had no idea what the product was, and even now that I know, Ally Bank, I can't figure out the logic of the campaign. Where's the promise, as D.O. might say. Fits in perfectly with the section I just read, "recall isn't the same as changed preference". A copywriter explains why, "If I want recall, all I have to do is show a gorilla in a jockstrap."

I ordered something on amazon and they offered me same-day delivery! The only further improvement in their service will be to ship me something to arrive the moment I realize I want it.

I'm reading Ogilvy on Advertising, and this guy is the quotemeister general. On a help wanted add, "Write in inviolable secrecy to me . . ." "Lloyd George was sexually chaotic." "If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants." (Given to each new manager in the smallest of a set of Russian dolls.) "If the agency's commission is 15%, insist on paying 16%. There will be little difference to you, but double the profits for the agency and you will get great service."

He has good quotes from other people, too:

"Every time I give someone a title, I make a hundred people angry and one person ungrateful."
--Louis XIV
"He who is absent is always wrong."
--Frenchman other than Louis XIV
"Come, I will choke you with gold."
--Job offer from Cosimo de Medici

Ah, the glamorous life of the theatrical producer! This is my cousin Patty who came up from Richmond for a couple of days for a combination of she wanted to, and I was spazzing out and she's someone whose presence makes me calmer. (Not only me, John, the stage manager, said, "Oh, she's awesome, she makes me calmer, too!" So, Catherine, Tommy, Ellen? Recognize?) Unfortunately, we had to forgo the gala luncheon at Le Cirque to prepare for final dress rehearsal last night. Wednesday we fashioned a plum pudding out of two Christmas ornaments, looked for a fake chicken but finally bought a real one (hilariously brought onstage in its Whole Foods bag, prompting Greg to say, "Great, take-out's just been invented!") , swept, picked up staples, glued pads to the bottom of the Cratchits' plates so they wouldn't clink (a somewhat wasted effort as the mashed potatoes they eat on stage dissolved the adhesive later that night), etc. Yesterday, I dropped her off at the theater to meet Taline, the costumer, where she sewed hems on the curtains, made an apron for the poulterer, and other stuff, I saw her sewing something red later, while I went to okay the poster proof and shop for charcoal. Which isn't in season. No problem, just opened a can of Theater Magic on the problem. I decided to cut up some sponges and spray-paint them black. Then we went off in search of florescent tape, which was very hard to come by, came home where I took a power nap and wrote some producer-ly checks for the actors, and made another batch of mashed potatoes. Back at the theater, it was glamor, glamor, glamor, as I washed the Cratchits' dishes in basically a spit-sink with only cold water. Patty punched holes in paper for the ledgers and cleaned all stuff out of the audience. I wondered why the actors were getting into make-up at 6 o'clock, but at some point realized, "ah, because this time all disappears!". We did have a few relaxing minutes working the door together, sipping glasses of well-deserved wine. (How could I forget the most important task of the producer's assistant, wine-bearer!?) Then I went up to the booth to run light cues for John. The production is really gorgeous but it turned out sound and lights need four hands at certain points. But it's all learning and memory-making.

The audience consisted of some local military (but not the 65 who signed up, unfortunately), and a few family and friends of the actors. (One of the actor's mom gave me $60!) Sure, the deck was stacked, but they were really appreciative. One guy who read the program at his seat came back to the box office and said, "You're a character, I can tell!"

So, is this a 99 cent store, or just a . . . store? Come on, B&B, how are you trying to position yourself in the marketplace? All you're really saying is "nothing is free".

This is where I've been running for little prop items for the show. 4 TV trays, which will make great souvenirs, because I asked John to write directly on the tables what props belong on them, 6 spoons for the Cratchits, plus a big wooden paddle to slap out the mashed potatoes, etc.

Other items purchased today: plastic punch glasses (Director Greg didn't feel the martini glasses looked quite right), "ledger books", really some kind of office supply I can't describe, because real ledger books look too modern, and a cane to be wrapped in a dirty, stinky, bit of cloth, because Tiny Tim can't hobble around on a modern crutch.

Good news: after a rocky start, today was the first day as a producer that was easier than the day before. I'm still looking forward to smoking my big metaphorical cigar and not giving a rat's ass about any problems, but that day will come . . . next Wednesday?