I haven't seen "Love Happens", but here's my summary of it: a woman who's surrounded by hair and make-up people meets a Aaron Eckhart, who as a romantic lead I describe as a guy who knows the script will force the heroine to fall in love with him.

With the help of Garth Brooks, I'm almost done cleaning my ex-apartment. No, he wasn't ropin' the Windex, I wish he was, I just chose him as my cleaning theme music. I want every penny of my deposit back, and my standard is "would I be psyched to move into this place?" I'll tell you whot, it's quite a bit cleaner than my new apartment. My bathroom, upon close inspection, is kinda grody. Fortunately, I've got plenty of product to attack it.

The dying man in my building doubts I'll get my deposit back. (Here's why I think he's dying, over the past few months, his neck has gotten skinny and his ankles have gotten huge. Also, he's an elderly alcoholic. When Lisa-Anne visited he was sitting on the stoop and she thought he was homeless.) He says the owners are mean and they've been pestering him for ten years. That may be true, but you'd have to be a saint not to be a stickler with people paying 1/4 of the rent you could get for a space. Rent control makes us enemies.

Know what else helps with the chores? Booze. This week I had a revelation--why drink wine when you can drink fortified wine? Twice the buzz for the same amount of money. Sherry is my new drug of choice.

Today's reward for the cleaning is going to be "The September Issue".