Headline of the NY Post story about the Federline boys having to go live with their dad: Un-Fitney. Awesome!

Some observations from my travels yesterday:

Check out the new Brawny paper towel man. His teeth are whitened and he's got product in his hair. What kind of metrosexual lumberjack camp is he in?

And I was accidentally exposed to the show I thoroughly hate, "The View" (versus shows I love to hate, like "Seventh Heaven" and "Sex and the City"). Whoopi "Girl, Please" Goldberg was arguing with Elisabeth "Republican Whipping Girl" Hasselbeck about, well, who knows, but here's Whoopi: "I don't like your war, but I am forced to pay for it. So fine, I'll pay for your war that I don't like, but you have to pay for abortions that you don't like, and we can all get along." It was like they were reading the constitution aloud. And then, a chat with America Ferrera! This show is like if you were at a new job and the whole department was going out to lunch so you had to go because you're new, and you got stuck at the end of a table with the dumbest bunch of women who think they're hilarious and sophisticated, but they're really just the gals who do payroll that they can't figure out how to fire.

I've just written a fan letter to Kate Fodor, who wrote the play I almost died trying to see.